Date: 2018-02-19 14:24
Hi, thank you for your post it was a great read. I have a situation here, I 8767 ve been talking to this guy who goes to college with me. We had know each other through mutual friends and hanged out a couple times in groups. At the end of last semester (April) he sort of told one of my best friends that he was attacted to me but it wasn 8767 t a big deal to me. Plus, he was going far away as a missionary for a year and said he couldn 8767 t have a girlfriend now. He went back home to Florida and I stayed working at our college in Tennessee. At the beginning of the summer (May) he started liking my old Instagram pictures and he added me on Snapchat. A day later he snapchatted me, after that he would snap me every day and we would talk all day long through snaps. He seemed very interested and was always the first to start conversations everyday,literally. We continued doing so but he said he was deleting his snap and asked me to add him on Whatsapp to keep in contact. Even at this point I didn 8767 t think our everyday talking would continue much longer because let 8767 s be honest, who does that for more than a week? And we had been doing it for 8 months now. Now is August, and I 8767 m in Mexico for a month and we keep talking everyday throughout the day, he 8767 s still calling me beautiful, hot,cute, etc. But not as much as he did we we used Snapchat. But that 8767 s okay, we talk about more about our everyday lives and random things. He is now on the other side of the world, and the time difference is huge so it 8767 s harder to keep conversations flowing. There were a couple times when we didn 8767 t talk for 7 days and the longest we have been without contacting each other is 9 days but he had a good excuse. Now in September I went to Europe to study a semester there. We are still talking but our conversations are not as flirty but we still call each other hot, cute, etc. Everything seems to go rather well, it 8767 s November now and I 8767 m wondering if this everyday texting could do more harm than good on the long-run so I suggested videocall. He wasn 8767 t super excited but he didn 8767 t seem to be bothered by it. We talked and the convesation went totally fine but (and maybe I 8767 m wrong here) I was expecting him to visit during Christmas since he 8767 ll be in Europe for a couple weeks. However, I 8767 ll be leaving a couple days before he gets here. He hasn 8767 t mentioned anything about seeing each other. I can understand if we cannot see each other then but then he also goes on mentioning that he might consider studying in Europe for a semester (again since he had already done it before at the same *censored* I 8767 m currently at) after the year as a missionary which ends in August of the next year. Which would mean that technically the only time that I will for sure see him (unless we arranged something before) it 8767 s in almost 7 years.
I had a teacher at law *censored* who became interested in me from the first time on. We started talking after his first lecture and this went on after every lecture. We were talking for hours, forgetting about time and usually it was about getting to know me better. Sometimes he showed more signs of interest, like on a *censored* pub quiz looking at me in a way that I noticed he liked me. He was even joking with me in the class but he didn 8767 t do that with the other students. We didn 8767 t dare to engage into anything serious while he was teaching me as I was afraid of becoming a victim of favouritism and I guess he could have lost his job. On my graduation party he started flirting with me so vehemently, that both my best friend and other lecturers notices as well, and he couldn 8767 t stop complimenting. I invited him for my graduation party, but he wanted to see me earlier, even though I wanted him to wait a bit. On my graduation party the flirting and complimenting went on, which ended up in him coming home with me and two friends who stayed at my place for my graduation. Nothing happened and after a *censored* conversation he went home, but we agreed on a date and hit it off straight from that time on. He seemed to be a bit shy though as he had a lot of disappointment previously and hasn 8767 t been with anyone for years. I tried to boost his self-confidence, especially because he had performance anxiety when it came to sex. It seemed though, that he was very much into me. After three dates he became insecure and on our fourth date he wanted to break up saying that he 8767 s not ready for a commitment. Within half an hour we started kissing and showed major PDA and he said it 8767 s hard for him to break up with me when I 8767 m so beautiful. After that we went to my place and had sex and I thought his insecurity was just a temporary glitch. However, after that he became distant and didn 8767 t want to come for my birthday party with my friends but took me out on a private date. He prioritised family and friends to me, however he still wanted to see me and he still acted nicely and said that I 8767 m his *censored* beautiful baby and his pretty *censored* thing. However, he never said he liked or loved me. I told him that I liked him very much and he only said 8775 I know 8776 . In the meantime I got into housing problems and as a practising barrister he offered me help free of charge as I was his girlfriend. He drafted a very harsh letter and I thought that if he wouldn 8767 t like me, why was he doing this for me? Unfortunately, two weeks before our break up he admitted that he took a girl out for dinner, whom he has known for years and that everybody says they should be together, but he never had the intention to that her and vice versa. After that he broke up with me, even though he said I was special and a kind, considerate and overall sweet person and a wonderful girlfriend and he told me that he will never forget me but he 8767 s not ready for a commitment and probably he 8767 ll always stay single. I felt sorry for him, because I thought it comes from his insecurities (he was never satisfied with himself or his looks) and tried to cheer him up and wanted to be friends. I bumped into him on the street a few weeks later and he told me to drop him a line once I feel better to meet and that he was sorry for hurting me as it was never his intention. But then when I called he didn 8767 t answer, just sent me a whatsapp text that actually we cannot meet as he started going out for a few drinks with that neighbour girl he told me about and that even though it 8767 s not serious he needs to clear with her if we want to meet
Ok, I have a question. I 8767 ll be as to the point as possible. I 8767 ve been seeing a guy for the last 8 months. He calls every day bothers him if I don 8767 t return calls. If i call and leave him a message he calls back soon. We have gone out to dinner (not fancy he doesn 8767 t have a lot of money, which is ok) gone to a local place to dance, gone to his house and he has fixed dinner and we have watched movies, gone to flea market, etc. We talk pretty easily not perfectly at ease. I 8767 m not ready to jump into anything big right happy with taking time to get to know someone. He has taken me to meet his sister and some of his family. The odd thing? I don 8767 t feel any 8775 vibes 8776 from him as far as really liking me. He 8767 s very nice. He is also someone that totally avoids any type of confrontation and avoids disagreements, even though just small things need to be discussed. Just small things. He says he would rather 8775 go around it 8776 than deal with it, because people get hurt and he doesn 8767 t want to explain himself twice. I like things to be discussed, settled, and forgotten about. Like adults. But I digress. Though we usually spend Friday and Sunday evenings together he is NEVER affectionate towards me. Doesn 8767 t hug me, doesn 8767 t hold my hand, doesn 8767 t put his arm around me..never looks at me with 8775 feeling 8776 Not mean, not angry, just seems 8775 happily indifferent. 8776 He said one time that he 8775 doesn 8767 t know how fast to go 8776 to which I replied that I 8767 m in no hurry and don 8767 t have a problem taking time. But, even teenagers, when they 8775 like 8776 each other, hug, hold hands, etc. I 8767 m not looking for a giddy 8775 *censored* 8776 behavior..just some sign that there is 8775 something 8776 there. When he brings me home from a date, he walks me to the door (even when I go to his house for movies, etc., he comes to get me and takes me back home) He briefly hugs me and gives me a 8775 hen peck, 8776 and that 8767 s literally it. I 8767 m NOT looking for sex or anything right you don 8767 t have to be head over heels in love to just show something, do you? I read stuff that says 8775 you 8767 ll KNOW. 8776 He will want to touch hands, your . He doesn 8767 t touch ANYTHING. We slow while we are dancing, he talks about working on his house. There is to it at all. I would never even consider opening up any 8775 feelings 8776 towards him when he behaves like this. Right now, my emotions are shut down and I don 8767 t feel anything because I don 8767 t get anything from him. I think he might be maybe there is just nothing. But I would like to know if he cares at all, or if I 8767 m just 8775 friend/love match 8776 substitute because he 8767 s bored. He just moved back to our area last May after being gone for 85 years. He does say he 8767 s reconnected with guys he knew when he played football in high *censored* from around here. He has also said there are 8775 girls 8776 that he knew from *censored* he would like to reconnect with. He said 8775 Not to flirt with them or anything, just to talk to those he used to know. Comments? Should I ask him if he feels anything? Should I back out of this? What?
Ive been speaking to a guy for almost two months. It started very slowly since i was dating others when we met. Ive stopped dating other guys because frankly i dont feel comfortable and my memory is terrible at multi tasking and i get my facts confused between the guys!. I decided to really just pay attention to him because he is really cool and i get a really good vibe from him. So far we 8767 ve had 5 dates in 5 weeks. The thing is im use to a guy being vocal and not having to guess how interested he is. (im dating outside of my comfort zone and usual type). We have great dates which are fun and though he reveals personal information about himself (family, work..etc) he never asks anything personal about me. The modern smart girl assumed at first he may just want to keep things casual and simple..ie. Maybe just wants sex. We did actually sleep together on date 8 because the physical chemistry was so intense. We didnt hang out again till a week later and barely spoke up tp then. Naturally i was in full remorce mode. Then i figured well if this guy got what he wants and hes done well better i know that now and farewell. But no..he initiated date 9. we hung out at my place and finally some personal questions about my family background and he seemed really engaged into getting to know me better.. and no sex just talked and made out. Pfew *censored*. Two days later made dinner together yay it was fun and we snuggled.. (god i sound like a *censored* girl) And then silence all day after. No txt. Day after that just a random hello but didnt actually engage far into conversation i tried encouraging but his responses were distant between..
So i just cant read him! Just when i feel like were getting closer and on cloud 9 his distance makes me wonder if were on the same page. Tempted to tell myself 8775 he 8767 s into you..but not that into you 8776 . He doesnt strike me as a guy who wants to waste time. Hes 85 and closed his online dating profile cause he didnt find serious ppl there until he met me. I come from a *censored* of thought that if a guy is into a girl who is independent, successful, compatible physically, he 8767 ll make it happen to see her and keep in touch daily. My patience with his mixed signals is running thin. Im affraid ill come off too strong if i ask him how he feels and ill be rejected. How do i approach a guy who claims to not be a 8775 sentimental kind of guy 8776 ? Whats ur barometer reading of his behavior with me? I dont initiate txts very often but sometimes i do. I feel we keep a pretty even keel. Im affraid he 8767 ll get turned off like i do when men pressure me to define things. The shoes are on my feet now and i suck at this! I welcome all theories..